When I was your man
by Mr. Michaels
Summary: Roy now knows how much Riza means to him/ RoyAi songfic


Disclaimer: FMA ain't mine and so is "When I was your man"

Ready a roll of tissue paper and a gun (most people I know will kill me after reading this)

_**When I was your man**_

_**RoyAi **_

_Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now_

_Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same_

Roy woke up panting heavily. Sweat was beading around his face and his eyes are wide with terror. He clenched the sheets so much that his knuckles turned white. He breathed slowly and massaged his temples. When he's finally calmed down, he looked to his left and found it empty. As usual.

"Stupid dream" Roy muttered, scowled, "I've had enough of this"

Roy stood up and walked to the bathroom and stripped off his sweaty night clothes. He took a bath and changed to his stifling cobalt blue uniform.

He made his way out of his room and out of his small, messy flat. Upon reaching his car, he immediately drove away to central headquarters.

When he stopped the car on his assigned parking lot, he killed the engine and leaned back. He looked to his left, to the front seat and found it empty. As usual.

"I can't do this anymore" he muttered bitterly, massaging his temples.

_When our friends talk about you all it does is just tear me down_

_My heart breaks a little when I hear your name_

Roy entered the office looking emotionless as usual with his gaze towards his subordinates. Although only 2nd Lieutenant Heymans Breda and Sergeant Major Kain Fuery are the only ones remained from his old team, he got new subordinates as well.

The woman in long wavy jet black hair, a member of his new team who was appointed under him, eyed him and smiled at him.

"Good morning, sir" she greeted, a little too sweetly while batting her eyelashes at him.

"Hmm" Roy grunted without even looking at her. He head straight for his office and softly closing the door.

"What the hell is his problem?" his spiky brown haired new subordinate growled.

Breda and Fuery exchanged furtive looks.

"Yeah, he won't even look at her" another of his new subordinates ranted on, the blond sleek-haired one.

Breda sighed.

"Lay off the colonel" Breda said, almost lazily.

"The colonel isn't really the same since..." Fuery added.

The three new soldiers looked down but the girl look crestfallen compared to the others.

Across the room, clutching the brass doorknob that was attached to the door separating colonel's office and his subordinates' office, Roy Mustang is listening to his subordinates' conversation. He felt a familiar sting spread across his chest. He removed his hand from the knob and massaged his temples as his other hand clutching a folder of finished paperwork.

_Too young _

_Too dumb to realize_

Trudging across the main hallway, crossing the Fuhrer's office he spotted something unmistakably familiar; there is 2nd lieutenant Jean Havoc and a blond-haired woman standing in front of the Fuhrer's office talking.

His eyes widened and walked to their direction. However, even before he was halfway to them, Havoc and his companion disappeared in the Fuhrer's office.

He halted and stood in front of the door, waiting.

_I should've bought you flowers_

_And held your hand_

_Should've gave you all my hours_

_When I had the chance_

_Take you to every party cause all you wanted to do was dance_

_Now my baby's dancing_

_But she's dancing with another man_

After almost 20 minutes, Havoc came out of the office a cigarette absent from his lips.

"It's been a long time Havoc" a deep, reproachful voice said.

Havoc turns around to find himself face to face with his former superior officer. Roy looked up to his old subordinate.

"Oh, hi chief" Havoc said, breaking to a grin, "yeah, it's been a while"

"Where is she?" He asked, "Isn't she with you?"

"What? No I came alone"

Roy sighed. 'I must be seeing things' he thought.

"Anyway, how's… you know?" Roy asked, now avoiding Havoc's baby blue eyes.

"The lieutenant?" Havoc clarified, raising his eyebrow and dropping his grin, "she's fine"

"Is she seeing someone?" Roy asked his eyes downcast.

"Well we were-"Havoc said, scratching his nape, but before he could finish, Roy walked away. He heard enough.

"We _**were**_" Havoc muttered, sighing. He then, turned around and walked down the opposite way that Roy took.

_My Pride, my ego, my needs and my selfish ways_

_Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life_

Roy was driving away from central headquarters earlier than before, seeing he actually worked unlike before. The time that a certain someone has to force him to work at gunpoint.

He drove through the old neighborhood where his old lieutenant used to live. He passed by a small café he would meet with Riza when she would walk Black Hayate. But when he glanced inside, he saw a familiar glow of pale gold. His eyes widened and stepped on the breaks. He fumbled over the door and ran inside. He placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Ri-"He started. But when she turned around-

"Huh?" she asked.

"Sorry, I mistook you for someone" Roy said, crestfallen.

He walked back to his car and drove away, biting his lip as his eyes sting a little.

_And I'm never_

_Never get to clean up the mess I made_

_And it haunts me every time I close my eyes_

Roy ate alone in his small flat. A bowl of lukewarm mushroom soup stare back at him.

"**You told me no more sir" a pleading familiar voice echo from his memory.**

"**I did everything I can, what more will you take away from me?!" his growling voice replied, "You have no idea what I've been though! Now you want me to go back?!"**

Roy clenched his spoon and banged it on the table. He hit it so hard that the wood splintered and punctured his hand. Soon enough, his hand began to bleed. He ignored the stinging feeling or the sticky, wet sensation on his hand.

Suddenly, a hand reached out to his bleeding one and raised it slightly. He looked up and saw her.

She smiled at him and emitted a warm aura. She touched the punctured part of his hand and the pain went away, as if she just erased it.

"Seriously Roy, what would you do without me?" she asked almost teasingly, her chestnut brown eyes sparkling and her pale-golden locks flowing down to her shoulders and on her back.

Roy's sight blurred. He reached for her cheek.

"Riza, I'm… I'm s-"he said closing his eyes.

But when he opened them, he was alone again.

He felt his eyes blur more and felt something wet stream from his eyes. He, then, bit his lip and rested his head on his arms and let is tears drip on the wooden table silently.

_Even though hurts_

_I'll be the first to say_

_I was wrong_

Roy lied on his bed with his cheeks still moist. He'd been crying again. He furiously rubbed his eyes with his arm.

"I'm a grown man dammit" Roy muttered, his arm still over his eyes, "I'm not supposed to cry over this"

"**Wait!" he remembered shouting over the crowds on the train station of central. **

**He saw the pair of blondes in cobalt blue uniforms. But he only screams for one.**

"**Riza!"**

**She turned around with contempt and pain in her face that almost made his inside curve in with utter guilt.**

"**Leave me alone" he remembered her saying that to him that made his knees buckle.**

He woke with a start with the feeling of burning guilt still present in his stomach. He raised his hand to his temples and massaged them. He turned his head to the bedside table and looked at his desk clock. 3:30. According to Jack, it's the devil's hour. Seems fitting.

_I know I'm probably much too late_

_To try and apologize for much too late_

_But I just want you to know_

"Chief! Hey chief!" Havoc yelled, running after the emotionless and former commanding officer.

"Oh, hey Havoc" he said, turning around, "I thought you're leaving"

"not until tonight" Havoc replied, scratching the back of his head, "but I'm here to talk to you"

"About what?" Roy asked, raising his eyebrow.

"About the lieutenant"

_That I should've bought you flower_

_ And held your hand_

"Don't" He said, clutching his jacket over his chest.

"But sir-" Havoc said.

"Just take care of her" he said, shifting his gaze on the floor.

_Gave you all my hours_

_When I had the chance_

"Wait sir-" Havoc cut in, but Roy didn't hear him.

"Be sure not to make her cry" Roy said, " or else you're toast"

_Take you to every party_

'_cause I remember how much you love to dance_

"SIR STOP!" Havoc yelled, losing his patience.

"What?" Roy reacted, surprised over his former subordinate's outburst.

"What I told you is that we only used to go out" he said, scowling slightly.

"So, what about the lieutenant?" He asked.

"You didn't know?" Havoc looked at him sadly.

"Know what?" Roy asked, with the feeling of foreboding.

_Do all the things I should've done_

_When I was your man_

"Sir, Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye died last winter, she was killed in the rebellion attack from Drachma" Havoc revealed sadly.

_Do all the things I should've done_

_When I was your man_

Roy's eyes widened and shimmered with pain. His knees buckled and fell on the ground. His heart began to palpitate and his breath shortened. Soon enough, collapsed on the floor

"Chief! Chief wake up! HELP!" He heard Havoc yell, but it seemed far away.

But from out of nowhere, he saw her walking to him. She reached her hand to his cheek and caressed it. She smiled softly.

"R-Riza" Roy said, his voice cracking, "I'm so sorry Riza"

But Riza merely smiled.

"Roy, you didn't do anything" Riza said.

She kissed his cheek and whispered to his ear.

"Time to wake up Roy"

"Roy! Roy!" he heard from far away.

He opened his eyes. Light flooded into his sight. Someone was shaking his shoulders.

"Roy, wake up!" the soothing voice said again.

His eyes focused and Riza's worried face swims.

"Roy, are you alright?" Riza asked, he beautiful face contorted with worry, " you were crying in you sleep and kept muttering 'I'm sorry'"

But instead of answering, Roy hugged her tight.

"You're here"

**THE END**

A/N: well, I actually did it this was supposed to be a Royai vs Havocai but, nah anyway, thanks for reading and pls. review

Jack Michaels out


End file.
